omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
