I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
