ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
