She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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