she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
