i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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