How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
