Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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