i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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