Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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