the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
