Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
