But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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