that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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