you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
