I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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