do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
