This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
