You can't motorboat a personality
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
