She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
