I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
false alarm. still invincible.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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