so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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