There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
