the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
