she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
