frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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