Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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