How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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