what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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