can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
