I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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