Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
