her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
