meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
