I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's never too late to be topless.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
