Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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