"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
