You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
