There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
