In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
