Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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