i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
