Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You were trust falling into bushes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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