I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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