After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
