I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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