You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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