doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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