I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Randomize
