She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
