But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
